A Communist Demon's Guide To Destroying College Students With Sex: The Redtape Letters
Dear Professor Holloway,
Ah, the power of sex—the golden key to disillusionment. It has been one of our most effective tools for centuries, luring believers away from their faith long before our esteemed leader came onto the scene. It’s a trap so effortlessly sprung, so enticingly baited, and it works even better in today’s universities. There, in the heart of higher learning, the very environment invites rebellion against the moral restrictions these young Christians grew up with. But we must be precise, for this particular student may need a more delicate touch.
There are two reliable methods for handling the matter of sex among believers. The first is to turn it into an oppressive burden, convincing them that any sexual act—even within marriage—is inherently sinful unless done solely for the purpose of procreation. This approach breeds frustration, guilt, and, in time, delicious hypocrisy. Scandals, when they erupt, are satisfying, though they do take time to mature.
Unfortunately, time is a luxury we don’t have with this Christian student. We must act quickly. That’s where the second approach comes in: normalize immorality. This is nearly effortless on a college campus. The very structure of co-ed living works in our favor. Any opposition to this setup is met with ridicule, labeling the dissenter as backward or even misogynistic. These Christians will quietly disapprove but won’t make any real effort to change the system. They’ll keep sending their children into the heart of it, no matter how much they protest.
Of course, when the Christian arrives at college, they will be wary at first. Their upbringing, full of warnings against fornication, won’t be easily discarded, and direct confrontation on the morality of sex would merely raise their defenses. Instead, introduce them to charming, likable classmates who live as if there’s nothing wrong with their choices. The key is that Christians often equate niceness with righteousness. “But Jess and Ethan are so kind—how could they be living in sin?” That confusion is our opening.
Once their moral compass begins to falter, we move to the next step: liberation. Be subtle, though. Don’t rush them. Start by creating little cracks in their belief structure. Slowly erode their trust in the moral laws they were raised with, because, after all, those rules are so tedious, aren’t they? You may even pose as a benevolent spiritual guide. It’s marvelous how much damage the phrase “God wants you to live your best life” has done. They’ve already befriended classmates who seem joyful and free despite their so-called sins. What’s a little exploration of personal freedom–a much less morally fraught term than ‘sex’ for a young believer–between friends?
Once the student is primed, introduce the pièce de résistance: the concept of sexual identity. This step is easy, as the modern academic environment has already done most of the heavy lifting for us. Surround them with stories of self-discovery and “coming out.” These ‘testimonies’—stories of being “liberated” from the oppressive heteronormative church—will resonate deeply with the Christian student. They’re used to hearing such tales of transformation in youth group; we’re simply swapping the nature of the conversion. Heartfelt accounts of “being myself for the first time” are almost irresistible. Watching Christian ministers attempt to refute such emotional resonance with talk about sin is laughable. To our young mind, these people are nice, and therefore can’t be sinners, of course. With every story, they drift further from their upbringing.
Of course, we must be careful not to let them think too deeply about what’s actually involved in these newfound “identities.” You must keep them focused on abstract ideas like “love” and “equality,” rather than the gritty realities of what these lifestyles entail. For heaven’s sake, steer them away from considering what’s actually happening in the bedroom. That could trigger disgust, repulsion, and guilt. Instead, offer them the noble rhetoric of “Who am I to judge? What people do in private is none of my business.” This particular line works wonders on even the most hardened churchgoers. It was step 1 in our national plan, and converted the majority of Americans to the libertarian position about homosexual sex. Even I was surprised at how fast that shift occurred.
As always, the best thing to do is link it up to a vague notion of “love” and “equality.” Love can only mean “satisfying desire.” If two consenting adults agree to love each other this way, and it makes them happy, what more needs said? To disagree with such love would be to advance inequity.
Our ultimate goal is that they would adopt a new, polyamorous lifestyle entirely. But don’t get too greedy, my dear fellow—one step at a time. What matters most is driving a wedge between the student and their old faith. Once we’ve accomplished that, Marxist ideology practically sells itself. Oppression, liberation, and revolution—ah, the sweet music of progress. The young Christian keeps the language of Christianity, but fills the contents with sex. Oppression is sin, sexual experience is conversion, confession of the new identity is faith, and revolution is sanctification of culture. And, once fully devoted to this cause, we’ve found these souls can be deliciously impuritanical about it all.
By this point, the damage will be done. The Christian will be so tangled in sexual confusion and guilt that a return to orthodoxy will seem nearly impossible. Some of the damage is totally irreversible, causing guilt for decades, and almost certainly making them wholly ineffective in their faith. Unless the enemy manages to turn this around in some fashion, which we have seen before, to make them stronger in their weakness, but that is a matter for another time. Ideally they’ll find atheism—our true love—irresistible as a balm for their tormented conscience. When there is no God, there is no guilt. I hate Dostoyevsky, but he was right: without God, all things are permissible.
You might wonder if, at this stage, we should allow the student to flirt with liberal Christianity. The answer, of course, is yes. Liberal Christianity is a delightful stopover on the way to full-blown apostasy. It allows them to keep some of the language of faith, all while abandoning any inconvenient moral requirements. Quite frankly, it’s one of our best tools.
Yours in Revolution,
Redtape