The Duty Of Tired Christian Moms

A parable that stopped me in my tracks a while back is found in Luke 17:

“Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’? Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’? Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’” (Luke 17:7-10 ESV)

I’m a goal-oriented person. I want to finish something, cross it off the list, and forget about it. I want to burn through my tasks and then sit down with a Diet Coke and survey my success. I want to finish that project for that client and then never think about it again. But this approach doesn’t seem to be consistent with the life that God is inviting me into. Finish it and forget it is not a motto found in scripture.

Also not found in scripture is support for an attitude that says: I am working so hard and it would be really nice if someone would notice and say thank you, pull out a chair and invite me to relax at the table and wait on me for once. 

Nope. You’re not the master in this story. Jesus is, and every nose you wipe and table you set is an act of service to Him. And the reward for your faithfulness is the honor of serving some more.

At the end of that dinner party you’re planning, when the last guest leaves, the reward for your faithfulness is going to be more work: dishes and sweeping and scrubbing salsa out of the rug. At the end of the summer, when your children return to school, the reward for your hard work of thinking of constant activities for them and getting them snacks and cleaning up the mulch that they put in their little model dump trucks and tracked all over the patio every day for three months - which is a lot of work - is going to be more work. Early rising to get them dressed and in the bus/car/drop-off line and packing lunches and washing uniforms and helping with homework until you get to the reward of another summer. At the end of planting season - if you garden, which I don’t - after the last seed goes into the ground, the reward of your hard work is going to be a LOT more work. Because weeds will keep popping up, seeds require watering, and even harvesting is heavy. And unless you send your family out to the garden to eat like rabbits at dinner-time, even enjoying the harvest comes with more work for you.

We were made to work hard. And the hard work never really stops. The hard work is actually its own reward. Remember those well-worn words of Christ in the parable of the talents?  “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will give you a day at the spa and some well-deserved time off.”

Oh wait.

“You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:21 NIV) That being put “in charge of many things” sounds suspiciously like a lot more work. Hallelujah. The joy of the master that we are invited into is faithful dominion over the earth. Constant, fruitful, productive work is a delight and a reward - one that we pray to be found worthy of when the Master returns. 

You might be tempted to think that “all this talk about endless work makes me feel like a servant.” Bingo. If that doesn’t sit well with you right away, sit with it until it does. How have you been thinking about your life? What kind of story is it?

Is the story of your family a rom-com with you playing the lead (duh), exploring how you navigate life as a wife and mom without losing “you”, maintaining healthy self-care rituals, and still having time to chase your pre-husband-and-kids dreams? Or is it a picture of Christ and the Church, and you are most satisfied and most healthy when gladly submitting to your part in that much more-interesting-and-important story? At the end of the day, when you’ve wiped snotty noses and changed dirty diapers and opened 11 popsicles and spent 7 of the 8 hours in direct physical contact with a 10 month-old, do you expect God and your husband and everyone else to give you a standing ovation, speak words of affirmation to you, in person AND via Instagram, and send you off for some well-deserved alone time? Or do you celebrate that you have “only done your duty” faithfully and to the glory of God? 

As you labor, where do you envision the finish line? Is it retiring in Florida at 65? Is it high school graduation for your youngest child? Is it 5PM, when your husband gets home and you lock yourself in the bathroom to unwind? 

But what if the finish line keeps moving? What if it’s supposed to? As faithful servants, our work is never actually done. Further up and further in, for the glory of God. Work begets work. Success leads to promotion. Faithfulness invites fruitful labor, and the process is always continuing. 

If the idea of endless work stretching out as the reward for endless work feels impossible and exhausting, ask the Master to strengthen you for all of it, and to give you joy in the middle of it. His mercies are new every morning. Ask for new excitement in the privilege of co-laboring with Him. Recognize that in the beginning, God didn’t place Adam and Eve in a garden to lounge and vacation, but to cultivate, multiply, fill, and subdue. To work. Take joy in that honor: that you’ve been entrusted with a small plot of His world. That’s your part of the story. So you’d better get to work.