This is an email which was recently recovered by myself by hacking into a certain demon's email by the name of "Ink Cartridge".
Sender: Demon Resources
Subject: Proper Bible Reading and such
Greetings Ink Cartridge
It has come to our attention recently that your client has decided to start reading the Bible. This is a horrible thing indeed! It is far greater for us that no one would read the Bible or at least base their understanding of it on some faint memories of sermons from their youth than for them to actually read it. However, it seems this is no longer an option, and the only way to keep your client from the enemy is to misdirect his attention to the scriptures.
As stated before we would all much rather not have anyone reading the Bible at all, however if they must read the Bible here is how we prefer it. Let him read from a plan which will lead him through the entire Bible within a short period of time, as short as you can manage. His pride will feed into thinking he will be able to properly read many pages while still bearing much comprehension. At first he may go doggedly to the scriptures, drinking deeply of it for a couple of days, but take heart! He will not be able to sustain his pace at all as his interest with the scriptures dwindles as he reads from ends of Exodus and into Leviticus. He will surely lose his motivation and will feel that he must plow through the latter part of the Pentateuch or not continue at all. If he is doing this alone, all the better! If you can keep him isolated and feeling that he has drowned in Leviticus where no one may find him then indeed let him drown!
Of course, there are many who read through all of the scriptures and feel a sense of pride within themselves, as if they now had acquired more than elementary understanding of the word. Should your client manage to creep through the Pentateuch it is very likely he will get through all of the scriptures. Make sure that he continues at a rate too fast to enjoy an understanding of the words but rather to trample his way through them, asserting that he perfectly comprehends what he has read.
It seems as well that your client has not read a book since middle school, that is truly a great thing. If a relationship with books has not been fostered within it will be difficult for him to readily approach scripture. The death of that cursed thing, classical education, has been a tremendous boon to our cause as without it children will grow into significantly more foolish and less critical thinking adults. They will always read and listen to respond immediately rather than slowing down to understand and formulate opinions before doing so. Because your client went to a public school he will have a hard time properly grasping the scriptures, even if he does slow down to admire them.
It is also worth noting that your client has a terrible attention span, he can only focus on things which are specifically meant to grab his attention. The Bible does not usually have things which will directly grab his attention so he may choose to listen to loud music or watch YouTube videos while he reads. Let us hope that you may bring into his mind thoughts of Family Guy, crushing things which are not typically crushed, or even powerscaling Superman and whatever other fictional character he currently has set his eyes upon. Indeed, it is unlikely he will be doing anything productive with his time and perhaps will give up his studies from this alone. If he chooses to do these things than he will give barely any attention at all to that crooked book nor to the enemy himself.
Ink Cartridge, it is our combined hope that you will successfully cure your client of his wretched illness and his desire for any relationship with the enemy. We know that these changes to your client's lifestyle will not happen all at once but rather will take many months of wearing your client down until he no longer has any desire for the enemy. Let us hope that by our combined efforts we may turn his eyes from the enemy and onto his own carnality.
Wishing you the best of luck as always,
Demon Resources
Sender: Demon Resources
Subject: Proper Bible Reading and such
Greetings Ink Cartridge
It has come to our attention recently that your client has decided to start reading the Bible. This is a horrible thing indeed! It is far greater for us that no one would read the Bible or at least base their understanding of it on some faint memories of sermons from their youth than for them to actually read it. However, it seems this is no longer an option, and the only way to keep your client from the enemy is to misdirect his attention to the scriptures.
As stated before we would all much rather not have anyone reading the Bible at all, however if they must read the Bible here is how we prefer it. Let him read from a plan which will lead him through the entire Bible within a short period of time, as short as you can manage. His pride will feed into thinking he will be able to properly read many pages while still bearing much comprehension. At first he may go doggedly to the scriptures, drinking deeply of it for a couple of days, but take heart! He will not be able to sustain his pace at all as his interest with the scriptures dwindles as he reads from ends of Exodus and into Leviticus. He will surely lose his motivation and will feel that he must plow through the latter part of the Pentateuch or not continue at all. If he is doing this alone, all the better! If you can keep him isolated and feeling that he has drowned in Leviticus where no one may find him then indeed let him drown!
Of course, there are many who read through all of the scriptures and feel a sense of pride within themselves, as if they now had acquired more than elementary understanding of the word. Should your client manage to creep through the Pentateuch it is very likely he will get through all of the scriptures. Make sure that he continues at a rate too fast to enjoy an understanding of the words but rather to trample his way through them, asserting that he perfectly comprehends what he has read.
It seems as well that your client has not read a book since middle school, that is truly a great thing. If a relationship with books has not been fostered within it will be difficult for him to readily approach scripture. The death of that cursed thing, classical education, has been a tremendous boon to our cause as without it children will grow into significantly more foolish and less critical thinking adults. They will always read and listen to respond immediately rather than slowing down to understand and formulate opinions before doing so. Because your client went to a public school he will have a hard time properly grasping the scriptures, even if he does slow down to admire them.
It is also worth noting that your client has a terrible attention span, he can only focus on things which are specifically meant to grab his attention. The Bible does not usually have things which will directly grab his attention so he may choose to listen to loud music or watch YouTube videos while he reads. Let us hope that you may bring into his mind thoughts of Family Guy, crushing things which are not typically crushed, or even powerscaling Superman and whatever other fictional character he currently has set his eyes upon. Indeed, it is unlikely he will be doing anything productive with his time and perhaps will give up his studies from this alone. If he chooses to do these things than he will give barely any attention at all to that crooked book nor to the enemy himself.
Ink Cartridge, it is our combined hope that you will successfully cure your client of his wretched illness and his desire for any relationship with the enemy. We know that these changes to your client's lifestyle will not happen all at once but rather will take many months of wearing your client down until he no longer has any desire for the enemy. Let us hope that by our combined efforts we may turn his eyes from the enemy and onto his own carnality.
Wishing you the best of luck as always,
Demon Resources