Make Family Worship Boring… and Other Terrible Advice

We’ve all received bad advice. Whether it was your cousin convincing you that you could jump that culvert on your new BMX bike, or the stock tip from that guy at the office who still thinks driving a Miata is cool, bad advice is a universal experience. In today’s age of social media, advice is coming at us faster than ever—some good, some not so much. In this article, I am going to give some advice that I know will not be universally accepted regarding family worship. But I hope it is helpful for you, even if it just gives you something with which to disagree.

Recently, I posted a video of my kids dancing during family worship with the caption, “The closest we ever come to being charismatics.” I was playing the guitar while the kids belted out the chorus of "Days of Elijah" (okay, maybe we’re a little charismatic!). I also added, “Family worship can be fun.” It didn’t take long for someone on social media to chime in, telling me that family worship shouldn’t be fun and that my method wasn’t sustainable.

Now, I want to assume the best about this person and believe he was trying to offer brotherly advice. I don’t think he was being overly judgmental, and I wasn’t offended. But it did raise a question in my mind: Should family worship be fun or not?

For those who know me, it’s no secret that I love to have fun. I make funny videos, perform stand-up comedy, and write satire. Some people find that absolutely antithetical to a man whose primary calling is to be a pastor. Aren’t pastors supposed to be super serious? Isn’t the definition of "sober-minded" that he never cracks a smile? Absolutely not.

One quote that revolutionized my thinking on this comes from G.K. Chesterton:
“Funny is not the opposite of serious. Funny is the opposite of not funny.”

This was a crucial reminder that just because something makes us smile or laugh doesn’t mean it isn’t serious. Applying this to family worship, I’d tweak Chesterton’s quote to say, “Fun is not the opposite of serious. Fun is the opposite of not fun.” And I don’t think the goal of family worship should be to make it “not fun.”

Family worship can be both fun and serious. Having fun while worshipping isn’t a sin. Making worship intentionally boring or uninteresting? Now that might be a sin. Yeah, I said it. Come at me, bro.

But Aren’t We Training Them for Church?

One objection to fun in family worship is that it’s meant to train our children for corporate worship. But this argument falls flat in two ways.

First, family worship isn’t just training for corporate worship. As I mentioned in my first article (see: Messy Family Worship), the purpose of family worship is to show our children that worship is a part of all of life, not just something we do on the Lord’s Day. We’re not just training them for church; we’re teaching them that worship is more than what happens at church.

Second, this objection assumes that corporate worship isn’t fun; and for many, I imagine this is true. I’ve seen worship services where everyone looks like they just downed a double shot of persimmon juice before singing all 10 verses of "O Sacred Head, Now Wounded." It’s almost as if some believe the only way to prove you possess the joy of the Lord in your heart is by looking as miserable as possible.

Now, this isn’t the norm, and that’s my point. I’ve attended worship services across various denominations, and many of them were filled with joyful faces. The people sang with joy, happily shook hands, exchanged hugs, and sat intently listening to the minister bring the Word. It wasn’t Six Flags Over Jesus, but it also wasn’t dry and miserable. I’ve even heard a Presbyterian pastor sneak a little humor into his sermon (cough, Dr. Sproul, cough). And instead of rebuking him for his joke about the superiority of the Pittsburgh Steelers or his golf anecdote, the congregation actually smiled (yes, Presbyterians can smile!). I’m not saying worship should be a comedy show, but we have every reason to celebrate our God—and we can actually enjoy worship. When our kids see us enjoying it, that joy might just rub off on them!

So, What Does Fun Look Like in Family Worship?

This really depends on the age of your children and the context of your time together. In our family, we use Seeds Family Worship and Slugs and Bugs to encourage our small children to sing. My wife and I have even grown to love the songs (I still catch myself humming the tune when I’m reciting the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians). But encouraging a teenager to sing these songs might feel a bit juvenile. Instead of making family worship more enjoyable, it could make them feel like they’re engaging in a kids-only activity. It might be more engaging—and yes, fun—to include a discussion about the latest battle in the ongoing culture war and what the Bible has to say about it. Who knows, they might even smile while talking to you (shocking, I know!).

Depending on how often you have family worship—whether it’s daily or a few times a week—the structure and content might differ. We always try to include three key elements: music, Scripture reading, and catechism. For music, I’ll sometimes play the guitar and let the kids use their instruments and sing along (even though they don’t actually know how to play them!). Other times, we use technology and sing along with the YouTube channels I mentioned earlier. During Scripture reading, we involve all our children who can read by playing a game called “popcorn.” Each person reads a set number of verses and then says “popcorn” to choose the next reader. It’s a fun way to keep them engaged because they never know when they’ll be called on. After reading, we have an age-appropriate discussion about the text and its application. We conclude with catechism, which sometimes turns into a bit of a contest, with each child wanting to go first to show they’ve memorized the week’s section.

Ultimately, we want our children to enjoy our time of family worship. Part of that comes from my wife and me showing that we enjoy it ourselves, and part of it comes from incorporating elements that make it more than just a nightly monotonous ritual. It’s not about turning it into a theme park ride, but it also shouldn’t feel like a funeral. It’s about enjoying our time together with God. Family worship is a gift; let’s enjoy it to the glory of God.

Until next time!