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Answering Questions From 'Gay Christians' (Part One)

July 25, 2024
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Matthew Vines, a self-proclaimed Gay-affirming Gay-Christian, wrote his own “40 questions for Christians who oppose marriage equality.” I’ve answered the first twenty of his questions below, and will answer the next twenty in my next article. I hope you find them helpful.

1. Do you accept that sexual orientation is not a choice?

In some cases, sexual orientation may not be a choice, like in cases of abuse. But you don’t have to be a product of your abuse. In the power of the Holy Spirit, you can repent. In every case, one chooses to walk in the flesh or not. Ever since the Garden of Eden and man’s fall into sin, all mankind is conceived in sin. Before we repent and believe in Christ, we are nothing but flesh, nothing but sin. And when a sinner becomes a Christian, the Holy Spirit resurrects him and frees his will from having to submit to his flesh. The Holy Spirit creates new desires in us, desires that love God and seek to please Him. He enables Christians to walk in the Spirit instead of the flesh.

What is known as “sexual orientation” is merely a pathological sin pattern which Jesus Christ can change. Like any other habitual sin pattern, the answer is repentance, turning from the sin and desiring and doing what God commands. And what has God commanded? He has commanded biblical marriage. In Genesis 2, the Bible says that males and females were literally created for the one-flesh union of marriage. God took Adam’s rib and formed Eve. Adam was then missing a piece of his body and Eve was separated from her body. Then, God brings the two back together to become one flesh in marriage. Adam even names his wife “woman” because she was taken from him. Then, God says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). Biblical marriage is literally in the DNA of all mankind and “homosexuality” is not!

“Homosexuality” is contrary to your DNA, contrary to your body, contrary to God’s design of you. Now, some may think, “What about singleness?” The apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 says that some Christians have been given the gift of singleness for the sake of serving the Lord in ministry. But you saying, “I’m gay,” is not the gift of singleness. As a matter of fact, the fact that you’re constantly talking about your “sexuality” proves that you do not have the gift of singleness. Instead of rebelling against God’s design, you should reject and repent of every inclination of homosexual desire in your heart, and you should cultivate desire in lock-step with God’s Word. In other words, you should find the godliest opposite sex Christian you can find and pursue him or her for biblical marriage. Then, become one flesh, have lots of babies, and love one another till death do you part.

2. Do you accept that sexual orientation is highly resistant to attempts to change it?

Yes, but so is every other pathological sin pattern. Have you ever found a Christian that is sinless? All Christians are constantly repenting. Homosexual desire is not a special sin. Like all sin, it begins in the heart. That is where it must be killed! Turn from it and pursue biblical marriage. And if you’re already biblically married, turn from it and pursue your spouse until it’s completely dead.

3. How many meaningful relationships with lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) people do you have?
4. How many openly LGBT people would say you are one of their closest friends?
5. How much time have you spent in one-on-one conversation with LGBT Christians about their faith and sexuality?

You are committing the non sequitur fallacy. Your logic does not follow. You’re also committing the anecdotal fallacy. If I knew every single unrepentant homosexual that professes Christ, it still wouldn’t change what the Bible says. What ultimately matters is what the Bible teaches, not whether or not we have totally understood how sincere homosexuals are in their sin or the difficulty of repenting of homosexual desires. For example, have you ever talked to an alcoholic, drug-addict, pedophile, etc.? They’re all sincere in their sin. They all have excuses and no reasons. The same is true for “homosexuals.”

6. Do you accept that heterosexual marriage is not a realistic option for most gay people?

No. I do not accept that because heterosexual marriage is what God has designed them for, and it is the only biblical option for sexual expression. If Christians desire sex, then they do not possess the gift of singleness. God has designed them to pursue heterosexual marriage (1 Cor. 7:6-9). Can you show me in the Bible where sexual attraction to one’s potential spouse is required by God prior to marrying him or her, or that it is required in order to stay married, or that it is required in order to keep the marriage bed active?

7. Do you accept that lifelong celibacy is the only valid option for most gay people if all same-sex relationships are sinful?

No. I do not understand why two-best friends, a Christian man and a Christian woman that are not sexually attracted to one another and struggle with same-sex attraction, but desire sex, cannot get married and pursue the marriage bed often. The reality with human sexual organs is that they can be aroused apart from sexual attraction. When a married couple that is not sexually attracted to one another desires sex, he and she should direct their sexual desires towards one another through sexual intercourse for God’s glory. Why are you not advocating for this instead of trying to change the Bible?

8. How many gay brothers and sisters in Christ have you walked with on the path of mandatory celibacy, and for how long?

Again, you are committing the anecdotal fallacy. Also, I reject your terminology. There is no such thing as a “gay brother or sister in Christ.” The Christian’s identity is in Christ, not in his or her sin.

9. What is your answer for gay Christians who struggled for years to live out a celibacy mandate but were driven to suicidal despair in the process?

My answer is not a false gospel. If there is not a medical reason (brain damage, medication, etc.), the only reason someone desires suicide is because he or she loves something more than God. That is the heart of sin. The only remedy for sin is repentance and faith in Christ. To the Christian that struggles with same-sex attraction, he or she must constantly repent and believe in Christ and cultivate God-designed desires for biblical marriage. God’s grace is sufficient. And Jesus is worth leaving behind everything in your heart that is contrary to Him. But do you love Jesus enough to leave your “homosexual” sin behind?

10. Has mandatory celibacy produced good fruit in the lives of most gay Christians you know?

Mandatory holiness has produced basically every faithful Christian in Church History. That’s probably billions of people. If a Christian struggles with same-sex attraction, and refuses to pursue heterosexual marriage, then he is reaping what he has sown. Why not, instead, pursue God’s good gift of marriage and children?

11. How many married same-sex couples do you know? 

Again, you are committing the anecdotal fallacy.

12. Do you believe that same-sex couples’ relationships can show the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control?

No. Same-sex couples’ relationships only show the fruit of sin, hatred for God and hatred for one another, not love. 

13. Do you believe that it is possible to be a Christian and support same-sex marriage in the church?

Yes. It is possible for a Christian to sin. But what I don’t understand is why Christians want to pick and choose what they believe in Scripture? I am a Christian because I am seeking to deny myself, pick up my cross, and follow Christ (Luke 9:23-24). I came to Jesus not to enjoy my sin, but to be saved from it. If I was going to reject the Bible’s definition of marriage (meaning to refuse to deny myself), I would just abandon Christianity altogether. I believe the tomb is empty because the Bible says it, and I believe marriage is one man and one woman covenanted together for life for the same reason (Mark 10:2-9). If I reject one, I must reject the other. It’s harder for me to believe that Christ rose from the dead than it is for me to believe that homosexuality is sin.

14. Do you believe that it is possible to be a Christian and support slavery?

Yes. I believe it is possible for a Christian to support slavery. But you’re committing a false analogy fallacy, as if slavery in the Bible can be compared to homosexuality in the Bible. There were times in Scripture when types of slavery were regulated. For example, Hebrews could own one another in Exodus 21, but by the time you get to Leviticus and Deuteronomy, they were forbidden from owning one another and could only own God’s enemies, those who worshipped false gods. And by the time you get to the New Covenant, God is making a new people out of both Jew and Gentile through faith in Christ. Thus, slavery is abolished entirely. Yet, in over 4,000 years of human history detailed, there is not one single homosexual desire or relationship in the entire Bible that is affirmed or encouraged. And there are numerous Scriptures that speak of homosexuality being sin, and God’s wrath being poured out in response to it.

15. If not, do you believe that Martin Luther, John Calvin, and Jonathan Edwards were not actually Christians because they supported slavery?

See answer to previous question.

16. Do you think supporting same-sex marriage is a more serious problem than supporting slavery?

Yes. Supporting same-sex marriage is a more heinous sin than supporting slavery, although both are sin. Again, God permitted slavery for a time, and polygamy, concubines, no-fault divorce, etc. due to the hardness of Israel’s hearts, but has never permitted same-sex relationships.

17. Did you spend any time studying the Bible’s passages about slavery before you felt comfortable believing that slavery is wrong?

Yes.

18. Does it cause you any concern that Christians throughout most of church history would have disagreed with you?

I don’t think you can prove that most Christians throughout church history affirmed Western chattel slavery. And, you’re committing a false analogy fallacy, as if disagreeing over slavery is the same thing as you disagreeing over “homosexual” sin. Again, the Bible is blatantly clear about “homosexual” sin.

19. Did you know that, for most of church history, Christians believed that the Bible taught the earth stood still at the center of the universe?

You’re committing the genetic fallacy, as if Christians being wrong about one thing means they’re wrong about others. Again, the only thing that really matters is what the Bible teaches. Did you know that if every human being was “gay,” humanity would cease to exist?

20. Does it cause you any concern that you disagree with their interpretation of the Bible? 

No. Your use of logical fallacies is what concerns me. Do you not realize that if someone follows your logical fallacy to its consistent end, he or she will dismiss every single thing the church has taught since her founding? Do you really want to encourage people to follow your example here, all because you want the Bible to approve of your “homosexuality”?

Answering Questions From 'Gay Christians' (Part One)

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